Friday, August 9, 2024

Friday Letters

 


Woo-boy, it's been a while!
For today ...










Dear Stalker,

(With apologies to Johnny Paycheck), Take your poisoned pen and shove it!

Some of my long-time readers may remember how, shortly after moving here, we were receiving your letters and postcards addressed to the prior residents.  (I wrote about it here.)
Mistakenly, I opened the first.  I don't know if your content could be considered hard-core pornography, but smutty, ya.  And spiteful.

What a coward you are, never providing a return address.  Only once, a cartoon image of Satan in the upper left.

After visiting the local Post Office, I was assured they would alert the Investigative authorities in Mobile.  

Thankfully, your mail ceased.  Oh, for about a year.

Your 'love letters' began again, their numbers increasing each month.   "Just throw them in the burn barrel." Tom urged.

Nevertheless, I took them back to the Post Office.  Shocked(!) when the clerk-who-always-looks-like-she'd-just-eaten-something-distasteful told me, I had every right to open your mail.  (Hmmm, Google would disagree.)  Okay, then.  In front of her and several others that's what we did. 
 

You know what she called you?  "Crackpot"!   
To me an unspoken, "Too bad, so sad."




Dear Robby,

Thank you for taking me seriously when I visited the PO yesterday with a manilla envelope filled with creepy envelopes.   

Thankfully, there were no other customers waiting.  Soon there were 3 gathered -- interested and appalled by the contents.   I wanted to hug your neck when you told me, "No, you won't be committing a felony by opening or destroying."   

You're leaving a note for our carrier, not to deliver any mail not containing our names.   So glad I can put away the Maalox!




Dear Veterans Administration,

Great idea!

From someone with a cell phone whose battery drains like crazy ... thank you!





Dear AGT

You've long been one of our favorite shows, but (to me) the shine's wearing off a little.

These performers are nothing short of Amazing, but still.
If Ringling Brothers and Ted Mack Original Amateur Hour had a love child, I'm thinking you'd be it.





and finally ...

Dear HGTV

I was so tickled to hear on an episode last night, "Brown's making a big comeback."   It may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I love it.

... provided, of course, I don't couple it with black.

Someone call the fashion police!





💌

Happy Friday everyone!
Hugs, Myra












26 comments:

  1. I love those boots and would wear them if I could. and they look good with black. that dark brown does, now they wear light brown and all browns with black or any color. THEY say tan goes with any and all. not for me.
    great idea for the charging station.
    I have no memory at all of the other post or the letters, I went back and read the post the comments and my own comment, and found that I was about to type the same thing I said last time.
    I think taking them the second time was a good idea, I always just write not this address and put it back. but then I never got an x rated postcard. I think the burn barrel might be a good idea. I do hope this will stop them from coming, but I have my doubts. I find the usps is not what it used to be at all. we have a different mailman at least every month, never know who will bring it and the last time I put something out to be picked up with red flag it was left their overnight.
    I do know from experience if you change your address and leave a forwarding address and one at all and can walk in and ask for and receive your new address. I found that out the hard way back in 1984.. you gave me much to ponder today

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    Replies
    1. What's maddening, the prior residents have ignored my letter and Tom's voice-mail. The postmaster says there's nothing they can do because there's no return address or other personally identifiable information.

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  2. Nothing like being the victim of hate mail, right? I'm surprised this even happens since the price of stamps has skyrocketed just like everything else. I'm sure this nut job could find a much better use for his money than this.
    Have a blessed weekend, Myra!

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  3. Okay I have a few of questions here. What is AGT?
    Does that mean - maybe - this person - knows you and who lives there? That is awful - so sorry.
    That is nice of the VA to do that. Good idea.
    And I like brown too - but I agree - you can't wear it with black - and you can't wear navy with black either. Miss you.

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    Replies
    1. Hi! I should watch my abbreviations! AGT is America's Got Talent (Simon Cowell, etc.) No, the crazy mail is coming here addressed to the people we bought our house from. I can't write "return to sender" because there's no return address. (*sigh*)

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  4. I’m glad there’s no fashion police around here! I would be busted. 😊

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    Replies
    1. Cheerful Monk

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    2. Now out of the workplace, I no longer fear the critics.

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  5. Lots going on in your neck of the woods :-)

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  6. Good Grief!! That's horrible on the porn mail. I do think its good to take it to the USPS the 2nd time. I sure hope it stops asap. Glad the fashion police don't come and visit me..Huge fail ... the older I get the less I stay with the most up to date clothing trends.
    Sue

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    Replies
    1. Me, too! There's even a chance I could provide someone some much-needed comic relief.

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  7. Over here, all mail not specifically addressed to us by name, we write "Not at this address" on the envelope and put it back unopened in the PO mail box. They open it and deal with it appropriately.

    Sorry to hear you've been troubled dear friends. Praying for you and God bless.

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    Replies
    1. With no personally identifiable information, Robby (Postmaster) said they just pitch it in the dead letter bin.

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  8. Oh my, that is crazy about the mail. (disgusting) Glad Robby helped you with that. That's nice about the charger. They have them in our ER if we go. I so still watch AGT but I know what you mean.

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  9. Goodness on that crazy mail. How awful. I quit watching AGT a few years ago but do still like The Voice. TGIF!! Hugs.

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  10. The Post Office is a strange place. Once in a blue moon you find a kind heart. Makes a person happy. Smut....yuck! Sickos in this messed up world. Nick watches the Voice and always he and Colton will forever be WW Wrestling fans! hahaha...... Your social media music quiz got me! I did it plus put one my blog. You better come visit soon. hahaha I LOVE music. I could not stand to look at Reba and Snoop dog together. so I mute the tv and turn away from the new commercials. Nick usually tapes the shows and watches them with all his other shows. So much happening int he world. Praying for President Trump. Heard his plane had to make an emergency stop in Montana, mechanical problems. P R A Y ! It is all we can really do. Have a great weekend and take care.

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  11. Gosh, that's terrible about the nasty mail! That's cowardly too to do that to someone. Yes, keep returning it to the USPS. That's their job. I know you're doing this but bring it to His Throne of Grace. He will put a stop to it. He's protected us so many times from wicked people with ill intent. To God be the glory.
    I didn't know what the initials were either. Thanks for explaining that.
    Y'all stay safe. 💙

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    Replies
    1. Indeed, our Father's got this! For some reason, just out of the blue yesterday morning I started singing (to my pups), "He's got the whole world, in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands ...." (Don't forget the lyrics, lol!)

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  12. I'm with Tom, throw it in the burn pit. Sigh....horrible mess my friend.

    Love those shoes, smiles...I don't think my feet could handle those, lol.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

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  13. We have two post offices in the neighborhood. The closest one doesn't have a very customer friendly staff, but the slightly farther one has a really nice group. So, yes, I go a little farther for a kind word.

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  14. I was posting a comment and it just disappeared. If you see a comment from me that's left dangling, please disregard☺☺ Getting nasty mail is so alarming, so far we've not received anything like that. What makes someone do something like that? So hard for me to understand. Glad your PO helped you and hope it STOPS. Through it all, God loves you and I hope He gives you lots of blessings along the way.

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Thanks so much for taking time to visit. Your comments mean the world to me!