Thursday, February 19, 2009

Confessions of a Chameleon

A while back someone asked, why the term “chameleon on plaid” on my profile?

Simply, it all began as a survival tool. Being a somewhat homely, awkward girl, I wanted nothing more than to be Popular … with no clue where to begin.

However! ...College, then Real Life brought wondrous opportunities for re-invention. Blessed with a fertile imagination and an odd ability to adapt (hate to use the word "lie") … 'twas relatively easy to fit in with many diverse cliques n’ clans, both personally and professionally. Thank God, I never strayed into the illegal!

Unfortunately however, this changeling behavior resulted in an inability to be sure of WHAT I believed!

Some years ago, I was privy to study under an amazing individual who helped turn my self-confidence around. Part of that process was discovering a great essay by Charles Finn, “Please Hear What I’m Not Saying.” It begins, “Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks. Masks that I’m afraid to take off .. and none of them are me.”

Now, my 14-year old granddaughter totally embodies what I’d like to be “next time around.” (LOL) She has neither the benefit of great wealth or startling beauty, but is self-assured, funny and compassionate … one of the most popular girls in her school. Too bad her grandma took this long to get it, eh?

Oh yeah, I often employ the “chameleon” while at work. Like my PC, it’s a tool, but it no longer defines me.

I think maybe that’s what this blog-business is all about, freedom to be Ourselves.

1 comment:

  1. Maverly,
    I too was raised with ideas of who and what I should be, and a need to "fit in."

    Your Granddaughter sounds like she has it together in ways I never did!
    That confidence will take her far in life, I'm sure.
    And she sounds like a wonderful girl:)


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