Friday Letters, postmark April 27

Dear April at CxxxE Bank,

I'm terribly delinquent in writing to you ... what's it been, 3 months?  Still, if anyone's blood pressure benefits from my experience, it will have been worth recapping.

You know, I'm a bit OCD checking my bank account every day ... sometimes twice.   So when I discovered 4 random charges to Uber, my pulse quickened.  I reached out.  

"My PIN?  My password?"   Um, that was 15 years ago; "No, I'm sorry; I don't recall."   

I sensed your eye roll, but appreciated your reassuring tone. 

Plan B?  OK.  Dutifully, I answered your security questions; I was in good hands.  Then you asked: "Can you confirm the name of the passenger for whom you purchased a one-way ticket to Costa Rica this morning?"

Gasp. Sputter. Shriek.   "April, that wasn't me!  You've got to cancel that! You must stop this!  Now!"   Close to hyperventilating, I heard you say, "Oh, don't worry, that was just a test."    

Sorry, April.  I don't like your tests, and I don't much like you right now. 

# # #

Dear Tom,

You know how I feel about the overgrowth and vacant multi-acre parcel that borders our parking pad.

So, when our security light inexplicably died you wasted no time getting a new bulb. 

Unfortunately, the sun set and rose again with no illumination.  Another trip, to procure a timing cap.  Nada.  

A trip to the attic to check the wiring.  Zilch.

"Sure is dark out there."

Fortunately, you took the new bulb back to the store to be tested.  Turns out, they sold you the wrong (non-vapor) bulb.

Do you know how much $$$ you saved us, stopping me from calling an electrician?  

# # #

Dear Coosada Policeman,

Does it grow boring, travelling the same circuit day after day, after day?  

Because we retirees have nothing better to do (lol), Tom's been observing your pass-by each morning about 9 ... your dutifully making a right turn into the adjoining subdivision ... and out again a few minutes later ... then west onto Airport Boulevard.

Granted.  I've probably watched too much television, but seems your predictability could make a home invasion look easy-peasy.

# # #

Dear Kelli,

Like it was yesterday, I remember the day you began cutting my hair -- then announced plans to move to Dallas.  Would I like to have your bedspread and pillows ... free-for-nothing?

Never mind that our old mattress is desperately uncomfortable ..... for the first time in my life I've become a real Nerd about the appearance of our bedroom.  

I relocated a complimentary print that used to hang above the couch, but two windows remained bare.  (Imagine undressing in the bathroom, then slithering to bed like a cat burglar!)  

We'd about decided to purchase some burgundy (75% off!) drapes at Target, but hated the idea of having to shorten them.   A little while later - while waiting in the Lowe's parking lot - my cell rang.   Tom:  "You'd better get in here and look at these drapes."

Granted, they're not an exact match, but I'm loving it.

..... and to think it all started with your generosity!

# # #

Dear Troy and Lois,

Do y'all know how great it felt to have you call, asking if y'all couldn't drop by?

... and when you arrived with this canvas of the girls, I felt like it was Christmas and my birthday all over again.  (Tom's since hung it above my desk, but I wanted to show my nice friends we discovered grandma's quilt!)

It's beginning to feel a lot like Sweet Home Alabama!

Have a great weekend, all!  Be safe!

Hugs,
Myra