Friday, February 8, 2013

Grandma and me

Woo-hoo .... it's Friday!

Having met some neat new friends via Flashback Friday, I'm sure anxious to play along with Martha!
Today, we're visiting the '50's" .....

Grandma Willer and Myra (ca) 1953

You know, she adored you.", a relative shared a few years ago.
"Whaaaat?" I was stunned.

"Well, she sure picked a funny way to show it."

Unfortunately, one of my earliest memories remains: Grandma Willer's standing at the foot of my crib, shaking a finger: "You are a wicked child."     
(No doubt, I was pitching a hissy fit over something or another. Again.) 

Between her stern demeanor and seeming inability to display affection, my cousins and I were all a bit afraid of Grandma Willer.   We even envisioned her arrival at the Pearly Gates:  Clad in her customary black coat, glass-bead necklace and orthopedic shoes .... demanding to be let in!

Decades after the fact, I'm sometimes rueful for not taking more interest in my dad's mother.
Left virtually penniless, her last years were spent being shuttled between her grown children’s homes.          

That couldn’t have been much fun.

Only recently, I re-read a letter she'd penned to her sons and daughter shortly before her death, apologizing for not having any material possessions to bequeath.... begging them to please get along with one another ... to love one another.

Love? I suppose she loved me the only way she knew how.

I hope my own grands never, ever have cause to question my feelings.   I'm not big on advice-giving, but totally believe -- 
Even if it feels awkward, life’s too darn short not to tell those you love what they mean to you!

Hugs from Phoenix!


  1. It is too bad you didn't get to know her better and ask more questions - she may have had her reasons.....

    1. You're so intuitive, Sandie! Yes, I learned, she did have reasons. I hope to share next week re. my mystery Grandfather.

  2. I know how those deep dark secrets are Myra. I found out out I was adopted after both of my parents were gone and I was nearing my 50s. So many questions left unanswered yet so many other little things finally made sense.

  3. Maybe it was those times. She looks like my grandmother and I felt the same way. They looked so stern, but underneath it all, love was there. Have a great weekend! Happy Friday!

  4. She might have been like one of my grandmothers that was in pain all the time. You know they didn't pass out pain meds back then the way they do now...and who knows what kind of trials and tribulations they endured come through the through the polio epidemic, the flu epidemics, was hard. I remember my mom used to have to put our clothes through a wringer after washing them...and I was born in no telling what kind of hard life your grandma had. I know my other granmother had a difficult time saying she loved us, but she showed us other ways. She always told me that she wished I would be good like my brother...that didn't endear her to me, but you know, after I had my children and she softened up, we became very close. I actuall miss her now. It's hard to understand what others feel when we don't know what roads they have had to travel. Hugs to the little girl in you.

  5. It is interesting that you found out she adored you long after she passed I would imagine. I do agree that it is good to express one's feelings, no matter how awkward it is. Hubby's parents weren't like that, never said "I love you" hugs, things like that. Hubby started saying I love you to them when talking on the phone; they were taken back the first time, but got to the point they could say "I love you" back to him. After his dad passed and I expressed condolescences to his brother, his brother told me that his dad thought I was the best thing that ever happened to hubby. It would have been nice if I had heard that when they were still alive; it would have helped so much with us getting along.

    Me, I'm always "I love you" with son; when he leaves for work, I say good night, etc. Life's too short indeed!

    Good picture of the two of you though!


  6. You look the same!!! From your photo with your Grandmother and your profile picture that is to the left --- your face is the same!
    If we only knew "back then" what we know now!!! I never want to have regrets for those I love --- everytime we speak on phone, letters or emails- I tell them I love you and mean it!!

  7. What a straight forward entry. I like it. Life happens, some are more fortunate than others. I know some folk who never seem to be happy, nothing is ever right.

    I try to think and hold a philosophy, we all do the best we can. No rule book or instructions came with parenthood or grand parenthood so we muddle thru. Sometimes we learn from the mistakes of others.

    I too want my kids and grand kids to know they are LOVED and to remember that. I think that is a worthy goal and legacy to leave.

    i do think the letter to the children was sweet, and you can glean something of her mindset from it.
    Great entry. Love the picture!!!

    ((HIGS)) from Clermont..

  8. Family and emotion were so different back then. I'm sure, like you said, she loved you in her own way. She looks just like my great grams - same black coat and hat, orthopedic shoes and glass bead necklace.

  9. What a great story. Don't you wish she was around to talk to now tho?

    1. I sure do, Kim! I was only 10 when she passed away; and not all that interested. Hindsight's such a "pill", darn it.

  10. That's a sweet picture, regardless of Grandma Willer's demeanor. LOL!

    I can sort of relate. Although my mother's mother was a sweetheart, she could put the fear of God in me when I was a kid. I can't say I was afraid of her, but I certainly paid attention to my manners whenever we visited. In later years, she softened up and provided some wonderful memories before her death in 1987.

  11. Yay! That is gorgeous photo. Grandma Willer's what a way of being affectionate. lol This is such a great story. Thank you for sharing and thank you also for dropping over my blog and for the lovely comment.



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