Saturday, April 11, 2015

Good, Better and Best (friends)


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Do you remember your very first Best Friend Forever?
As first and second-graders, Kathy and I were inseparable, bound by our passion for horses, donkeys, Roy Rogers and Dale.  Maybe on account we were both 'only' children, I remember begging our mothers for 'twin' outfits.

When her dad accepted a transfer off the Hill I don't suppose either of us dreamed it would be 50+ years before we'd reconnect - by chance -  on social media!   Today, K lives in California, close enough to visit... but we've not done so.  Too much water under that particular bridge.  (But dang, if she didn't get that horse!)

ca. 2009 - together again!

Over the years of course I've developed some abiding friendships with other girls er, ladies and a few men.

Looking back, I suspect Liz became my 'bestie'  because we were two of the biggest losers at LAHS!
I tolerated her exhibitionism and bossiness -- but breathed a sigh of relief when, after graduation, we went our separate ways.  (These days when she starts provoking arguments on FB, I can just turn her off!)

It's curious that I still refer to Debbie-in-Florida as a 'best friend' ... when we've not had an opportunity to see each other more than a once or twice in the last 12 years.  We honor our history.

Honestly, I don't know if I need a living, breathing Best Friend nearby.  Sure, I fantasize about girls' getaways and similar pleasant interludes - but right now I think my closest friends are my fellow citizens of Blogland.  I'm continually astonished - and humbled - at the level of camaraderie and sincerity which exists!

I was thinking the other day, it's nice that blogging affords us the opportunity to 'filter' those with whom we want to hang out.  Sort of goes hand-in-glove with what Tony Robbins says about "If/Then" rules.  You know the ones:
"IF you really love me, THEN you'd ...."    or, "IF you're my friend, THEN you wouldn't ....."

For instance?  Some years ago I came really close to UNfriending someone because she admitted to having cast her vote for a person I disliked.
Another time, I was aghast because someone I believed I KNEW well, spoke fondly of Angelina Jolie.   It doesn't seem that long ago, does it, that the "Brad/Jennifer/Angelina brou-ha-ha" was  was the feature story on every newsstand? (Did anyone else ever draw a mental parallel to Eddie/Debbie/Liz?)

Aw, mother always said it would be a dull life if everyone liked the same thing.
(Then, she'd reverse herself by refusing to attend a church that wasn't of the Missouri synod.  LOL.)

Seriously, I suspect we all crave a certain amount of conformity -- whether it's in our liturgy, our music, the books we read ... even those we don't like together!   But I think I'm going to drop the 'best' from my vocabulary.   It almost sounds exclusive.  (To me, anyway.)

Before saying 'goodnight', I want to share a nugget from friend Jack over at Ship's Log   -
"... If you are opposite of me, I certainly do not want to hurt you.  I like you."   Ya!

Please take good care of your very special selves!

Hugs from Phoenix,
Myra        

12 comments:

  1. It is always fun to stop by and get to know you more. Funny how I have commented to my Sherry that it was not unusual for me to have three 'best friends'. No competition, just buddies.
    Sherry on the other had had one friend she liked and was always on edge because that friend was jealous of any other friend she had, and it kept her on edge.

    I do have two Best friends, I had Three but Sonny had the audacity to pass on to the here after. I still have Buddy and Von Dale, and hopefully for the first time in 63 years we will get together this summer and sail on Von Dale's yacht. (One of the three made it., LOL)
    Buddy & wife just sold their place in NM and are headed for Florida, we will all be on the East Coast.

    Thanks for the shout out, U B Sweet.
    Hugs & love to you and the big guy!

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  2. I remember. It is hard when you inevitably part. I have always felt friends love and appreciate you for WHO you are, even if they are DIFFERENT from you.

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  3. So interesting to read this about friends, Myra. Because we've moved so much it takes me a bit to get settled in and meet friends so over the years with blogging I've developed the bestest of friends here that I may never meet in person (but we are going to meet) so if I don't meet anyone here, I think I would okay with it.

    betty

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  4. I definitely think women are more best-friend oriented than men are. I did have one particular best friend named Mike (ironically, we were both "only children"). I was best man at his wedding. After he got married we sort of drifted apart.
    I still keep in contact with a few close friends that I knew since our California schools days.

    Lately I feel much more hermitized and don't make friends very easily.

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  5. I do have a few people that I consider friends. They've been a constant in my life over the years. I also have some long distance friends that I know well but we never see each other, still we keep in touch. And years ago my daughter stated that I was her best friend and I like to think she is also mine. I like that statement from your mom that it would be a dull world if we all liked the same things. It's wonderful we are all unique.

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    Replies
    1. What a priceless gift, having a daughter who considers you her best friend! You're certainly blessed, Ma!

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  6. I agree with you, besties seem to be exclusive. I've always loved girlfriend stuff. I like diversity in my circle of friends. I would never expect my needs to be met by one person anywhere same as I cannot fulfill anyone by myself. I so agree about the online buddies. Somehow we reach into each others hearts faster, maybe because of being writers? We allow more vulnerability? What do you think it is?

    So grateful to have you as a friend!

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  7. I feel very blessed to have a best friend (since 2nd grade) that lives in the same town and I spend time with her often...lunch at least a couple times thru the month and we are with ea other once a month, playing bunco with the other 10 ladies.
    My very best friend thru Jr. High and High school lives 45 miles from me but we don't see other often enuf. I need to call her and meet her for lunch. Having my girl 9 miles down the road, and her being the best friend I've ever had in my entire, long life, makes my life complete....and, as you may already know, living in the pool house right behind my son's home is a blessing that happens to Mr. Sweet and I constantly...being able to say Good Morning, honey, to him every day is, indeed, so good for our heart and soul.
    Yes, friends on blogs are wonderful, too.

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  8. I cannot for the life of me remember my first best friend. Due to our home circumstances my mom did not encourage us to bring people home and she wasn't into letting us hang out with others so much. I usually found my best friend in a book. Nancy Drew and I were really tight. Through my teen years my best friend fell in love with my brother (sigh) married him, cheated on him while he was in Viet Nam and then divorced him. Alas she was no longer my best friend. Then I was the first in my circle to marry and have a baby. That changes things up as my interest in the girls waned. My first best friend, Jean, and I were so very close and we shared raising kids and loving our homes and going to and having garage sales. And then she moved to Florida. I was devastated. Depressed. Lost. We stayed in contact but it wasn't the same. She died a few years ago in a bizarre incident following a minor surgery. Then I met my next bestie, Nanne, through my nursing career. We were really, really close. I talked to her on the phone several times a week. Richard and I went to visit her wherever she and her husband settled. She was a travel nurse. I loved this woman like a sister. Then tragedy struck and she died. I was once again devastated. So I agree with you. My friends now are my blogging buddies. They mean the world to me. If I need them they are always there. I try to be there for them. If I get on their nerves or they on mine we only have to click off the computer. Thank you Myra for being one of my good friends. And thanks for this walk down memory lane.

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  9. I do sometimes miss having a friend to do things with. But for the most part, I'm good with going out and about by myself or with my husband. Most of my good friends are online ones! I feel closer to some of them than I've felt with some of my face to face friends. They are there for me - just on the other end of an email at all times of the day or night!
    Oh, we saw Barry Manilow many many years ago. Loved it! My favorite song... hmm, so many I love - One I know I like is called "I Never Wrote A Linda Song"...

    Linda in VA

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  10. I have a girlfriend whom I've always known. We were best friends at church and school, but when I was 16, her family packed up and moved away. We've never lost touch, and are still besties...all these 50 years, even though there is much distance between us and we don't get to see each other as often as we like.

    These days, I think having a local, up-close best friend would cost too much energy! ha! I have my large family, and I'm very blessed with the friendship there.

    The friendship bonds in Blogland are real...even if we never meet those ones we find we really click with. Who would have ever dreamed we'd have really good friends that we never even met?

    On a side note, looking at your pictures on your sidebar, your son sure does look like your husband. Good looking men you got there.

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  11. I have enjoyed this read! It is hard to stay close in this life and the chaos we are surrounded by. My friend Karen is in Boise Id. We have known each other since we were tiny babies together. But she thinks very differently from me these days and we are not so close. She does not like technology and does not use social media! Sigh...I have always been close to my sister but she has gone off on several tantrums over differences. So I stop and do not engage her...Argh....I like to think we can be different and agree to disagree. But I do know some folks who are total liberals and their opinion is the only one that matters. Then there are those that post at FB all the cynical or frightening things! I just like the company. I did lose a 40 plus year friendship over politics once. She called my daughter a moran for voting for the candidate she did not like and you know, I worked in politics, and I will say it out loud, they are all crooks! When was the last time anything changed? We go from bad to worse. My cousins's son is a pastor and his wife came over and tried to school me on voting and why it's biblical! OK...so I am twice your age but you know everything and I am dumb! Yikes! I stay away from FB most days because no one wants to laugh and have fun, they want to engage you in combat over politics, this right, their right, that right! Argh......I just hate it, but I sure loved your writing here.

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Thanks so much for dropping by! Your words are like hugs from afar.... and who doesn't love a hug!