Sunday, April 5, 2015

Bones Don't Bounce


Sometimes my own immaturity surprises me.

Standing before a (presumably) innocent clerk the other day, I fixed her with my best icy glare: I Do.Not.Want.To.Be.Here.  I Do.Not. want to be a good example.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we.

One moment I was strolling from the south parking lot towards our Admin building, humming a Phil Collins tune.  The next, my purse and lunch bag were airborne, and I inexplicably found myself up-close and personal with the pavement.

Being a paranoid type, the first thing I did was look this way and that, making sure there were no witnesses. (Whew!)
Then again, how in the heck was I to get up?
Rather than clutching my knee and howling at the setting moon, I clamored to my feet (not unlike an inebriated crab) and struggled to the office.

(If I'd had an ounce of common sense, I'd have dragged my sorry derriere the other way and gone home.)

One look at my bloody hand and torn slacks, my RM summoned a security officer to pen a report.
Serious humiliation, having to bare my old-lady knee-high hose to that 12-y/o.  So studious, he noted my 'bruising.'   ("Um, excuse me. That's a varicose vein.")

Ignoring my protests, my RM advised, "You need to set a good example for the associates." and sent me to Concentra.  
Now I don't know if any of you've had to endure the looooooong process of worker's comp but it's a time-consuming hot mess.  After an hour-thirty, I'd caught up on Facebook and blogville.  I began to study my co-victims - trying to ascertain who was legitimate, who might be playing the system.

Finally, I was invited back to be assessed by a fellow resembling Methuselah's great-uncle.  No breaks (thank you, Lord!), but they determined I've a strained knee and slight whiplash.    Naturally, they pulled out the physical therapy card ....  and I struggled not to cry from sheer frustration.

Thank you, Lord (again!) for the therapist who - unfazed by the chip on my shoulder - calmly performed her evaluation and agreed with me, no further therapy is warranted.   (After all, I'd assured her my pain level was a "1; perhaps a 2."   Never tell 'them' the truth!)  

So, I broke my "no-wine" Lenten promise that night - and the next - but figure it was close enough!

Today's Easter observance has been unusually low-key.            
DH and I are presently without a church home.  I'm hoping that will change, but I cling to something my former minister said, "I don't care what you call yourself.  Go where your soul is fed."
I've been intermittently hanging black-out curtains in our SW corner bedroom, visiting with Mr. God, and growing sentimental over old family photos.  

Since I've helped observe hubby's Polish heritage most of the last 10 Christmases, I thought it might be fun to honor my own ancestry and craft a Norwegian-themed dinner.   Unfortunately, most involve lamb (right up there with Lutefisk) and orange cake.   (Those of you who know me, understand I don't eat fruit ...or anything fruit-flavored.)    DH is grilling chicken breast and darn if we'll not be glad for it.   That, and the wine!  (smile)

I hope you've all enjoyed a very blessed Easter and Passover, and the coming weekdays are kind!

Hugs from Phoenix,
Myra

P.S.

'Just for smiles ...

11 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, yes, I do remember the Easter outfits with hats and the white shoes and socks!

    Ouch with your slip and fall. I'm glad it was "just" minor injuries and you didn't have to have physical therapy. Its kind of funny when they ask you to assess your pain on the pain scale. So subjective. I could be in major pain and say two when someone is just in minor pain and say seven, so I never know why they ask that question, LOL :)

    I do hope you are not in too much discomfort from it though!

    Yes, go where fed. We've gone to a variety of denominations and don't call ourselves this or that but Christ follower at the end of the day :)

    Enjoy dinner! We are doing salmon here ourselves (with the wine of course).

    I think I did tell you that I am Polish :)

    betty

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  2. Oh Myra you had me howling today. Along with my entire family because I just HAD to read it aloud. (At their insistence as I sat howling in front of the computer, they wanted in on what was making me laugh) I'm glad you weren't' hurt badly. Happy Easter to you and Tom!

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  3. You really had me laughing at this post (and, unfortunately, at your expense). The description of your fall and the aftermath was hilarious. It's never funny at the time - - but in retrospect, we find humor.

    I sure remember Easter outfits. It's rather sad that they're now largely passe. When I was about four years old I remember my Mom buying a fancy Easter hat to go with her outfit.Those were the days......(and gloves! She wore gloves!).

    Hey, whaddaya mean you don't eat fruit? I love orange cake.

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  4. I hope you are ok! You be careful lady! Glad there was no break! Whew! Love that Easter pic! Sweetness! I wish you were here, you could come to check out our church. We did not have a church for ten years , I know it sounds so lame, but when Rebekah and Zach kept inviting us to their church we were hesitate. Now we never want to miss it! It is a wonderful church, if you ever have the notion to look at some of the series we are doing, just to go RedRocksCHurch (media) and check it out. We finally had Hannah sit with us and watch a few today. She said she wanted to come to church with us! Yeaaaa! Sometime wine is a better choice than all the drugs they like to push on us! Aack! Good to see you here as always and I hope your Easter dinner was terrific. We went to the early 9 o'clock service and than went to Jose O'Shea and had an early 11 A.M. lunch with Rebekah and Zach.You are priceless my friend. Hugs, Anne

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  5. Who can write about pain and make the rest of us crack up? You, girlfriend! Your words may tickle me, but down deep I'm relieved that you were not badly hurt. I think we are that sanctuary that opens our hearts to a living God and provides that dwelling place. May you and Tom enjoy rest today and I hope you find that place of fellowship that inspires and encourages and appreciates you guys for the fun and loving couple you are.

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  6. I love a fascinating story, with the heroine being the writer. You do good picking on yourself though (smile). I love he cute varicose/bruise line (makes good fiction, cause we know it is ain't so!)

    Glad the incident was not a bone breaker or head knocker.
    I am with 'Saleslady' I know it is a gift, to make pain funny!
    gotta learn that.

    Love you girl and the best to you and the Big Guy!

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  7. So glad your fall didn't do you in. Loved your description of the security officer and his report. I had orange cake as my birthday cake every year as a child. YUM. LOVE hats to this day. I wear them. That chicken sounded mighty good. HAPPY EASTER.

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  8. I'm so thankful that nothing was broken. It is very true, bones do not bounce. Glad no further therapy or anything else was needed and that you could enjoy some chicken with your hubby. Sounds like a happy Easter to me!

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  9. I got more than one giggle at your tale of woe...the process following, I mean! (Bless your heart!) I fully understand the "12 year old" we have a few professors here who I am sure are only in the 10th grade!

    About the home church? We got a new pastor around six months ago. There have been so many changes that I don't really feel like it's my home church, more like somewhere I'm trying to get used to. You'll find your home, I am certain of it.

    Loved the post!
    ~Margaret

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  10. I got more than one giggle at your tale of woe...the process following, I mean! (Bless your heart!) I fully understand the "12 year old" we have a few professors here who I am sure are only in the 10th grade!

    About the home church? We got a new pastor around six months ago. There have been so many changes that I don't really feel like it's my home church, more like somewhere I'm trying to get used to. You'll find your home, I am certain of it.

    Loved the post!
    ~Margaret

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  11. PS: I'm glad you weren't seriously hurt.

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Thanks so much for dropping by! Your words are like hugs from afar.... and who doesn't love a hug!