Thursday, October 18, 2012

Friends!



So, I was relating a story to DH the other night when my tongue became stuck on the word "friend."

"Well, not a friend-friend exactly ... kinda an acquaintance, but lots better.  Umm, you know, the kind who ....
....What was I talking about again?"


When I stop trying to define things ... I realize I'm incredibly blessed by all those I'm privileged to call friend!   In fact, I feel closer to some who I've never met ... or may never meet again, than those with whom I regularly brush shoulders.

Blame it on "old age" (lol) ... but lately I've felt a tug to gather some loose ends.  May I share a personal success story?

During a somewhat tumultuous season in my life almost 40 years ago, my co-worker extended an invitation to come stay with she and her family for a few weeks.  Their little home in West Texas' back country was little more than a chilly shack, but all I recall was the laughter and the love.
Not a year later, "B" and the children arrived on my doorstep to announce they were leaving her alcoholic husband/father and headed to California.
Caught up in a new marriage, new job and new friends, I wished them well and gave it little thought .... believing we'd always be a part  of each others' lives.    (Ever have that feeling?)

Coming across an old photograph a few years back, I made up my mind to try and locate "B."   So sure of myself and the Internet, I hadn't counted on folks' ability to drop off the face of the earth were they so inclined.
All the same, my amateur sleuthing paid off -- in of all things, her ex's on-line obituary!     I'd like to say the rest was easy, but those darn threads kept getting in the way or simply led to dead-ends.

Finally, last fall --  a stranger's name on Facebook.  Maybe, possibly married to "B's" daughter.  
Feeling somewhat foolish, I sent a message.   Nothing.   OK, he probably thinks I'm some whack job and deleted my inquiry.

Then, out-a the blue I had a response last month, apologizing for the delay.   Yes, "B"  is his mother-in-law, and yes he would send her my information.
An e-mail from a far-away city arrived soon after and contained an invite to phone.

Folks, I hardly slept the night before -- suddenly unsure of myself and what I might say.   ("Hey, want to get together and TP some trees for old times sake?")

Actually "B" beat me to the punch.   She, too, had misgivings, but had prayed about her decision to respond.   Tho' I'd never have recognized her voice, the humor and positive look on life  was still intact.    What a surprise to learn, "B" had dug herself out of a hardscrabble situation, first winning her GED, then a college and master's degree.    Recently retired from the legal field, she's fresh from an ugly divorce, with very good reason to keep off the social media scene.

Want to hear something unbelievably ironic?   Between 1977 and today, "B" and I lived in the same cities, both in Florida and here in Arizona.    

I'll admit, it was sobering to realize we've each changed and grown up.   Not necessary for the better. Still, I feel incredibly better for having connected the dots.
~ ~ ~

Sid Simon once addressed the different kinds of friends each of us needs to reap in his/her life.   Darn, for the life of me I can't find that passage ... but I love his categorizations:

There's the Confidante ..... the Intelligence Stretcher .....the Adventure Bringer ....the Role Model, and of course, the Chicken Soup Bringer.


I suppose our roles change depending on the relationship.

In which role do you see yourself most of the time?







Please take good care of yourselves out there!



11 comments:

  1. I think that was neat that you reconnected with "B". Perhaps it will bring closure to some things even if you guys never resume the close friendship you once had, but at least you know what happened to her, etc. Through Facebook, my best friend in high school found me after 30 years; I had looked off and on for her but could not find her. It was nice to reconnect and catch up on what had happened in those 30 years, but I'm not 100% sure I want to pursue more of a relationship; not sure if too much water has gone under the bridge so to speak.

    I think I'm the Chicken Soup Bringer.

    betty

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  2. Oh, this warms my heart! Glad you shared it. Very interesting breakdown of friendships, too!

    Hugs,
    Mary

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  3. So you are reconnecting with her? You both moved to the same city twice. It must be meant to be.

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  4. What a great story. I'm nervous about an up coming get together but over all I've found them all to be wonderful. I remind myself that I haven't been in their lives for years and they haven't been in mine so we may not be best or even good friends again or hang out but being in touch is enough. I have my now friends and old friends and high school friends and high school associates that are now nicer friends if you know what I mean. It's all good.

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  5. Wonderful story of reconnecting. Facebook has its merits, yes.

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  6. I'd love to think I am a combination. Probably less a chicken soup bringer and more adventures and listening. I've enjoyed getting back in touch with friends from long ago. In some cases the connection has grown very strong and in others quite casual. I'm grateful for both.

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  7. I reconnected with a high school friend recently. It is as if all those years vanished and we were comfortbale being ourselves again. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am a friend who could get another friend into trouble with my ideas :)

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  8. I think that's a wonderful story! I have an old friend I've considered trying to track down. I'm afraid she'll say Debbie WHO?

    And as to my role, it's a combination chicken soup bringer and confidante. I'm definitely in the counselor role.

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  9. HI!!!
    WHAT A GREAT STORY.....friendships come and go and then we can reconnect.....that is the beautiful part of it. FRIENDS are so important to our lives....we need the support system only friends can give sometimes....family is to partial or maybe to unkind.....where friends will hold your hand and HOLD YOU UP sometimes. GLAD you found each other!!!
    You are a treasure my friend!!
    hugs,
    jamie

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  10. Those old friendships are often really wonderful! I am glad you and "B" were able to reconnect after all these years! You are sure a great story teller! Have a wonderful week!

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  11. I hope I am a confidante and intelligence stretcher, and no matter what our category, each and every friend is precious.

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Thanks so much for dropping by! Your words are like hugs from afar.... and who doesn't love a hug!